In order to make it through all the conferences in time for the kickoff of the 2013-14 CFB season, Vincent’s playing a game of lightning round with the remaining conferences. Three topics. One post. Ten tired, Asian fingers.

by Vincent Kwan

Today, we’re picking notables out of the Atlantic Coast Conference, maybe the conference I most dreaded writing about aside from the Pac-12. Maybe I’ll turn around on the ACC. After all, the conference’s about to become Notre Dame’s de facto home, and as all good Catholics know, half-in counts, so it’s probably a good time to get used to being in Tobacco Country. Anyway, on to the ACC Lightening Round

Favorite Team: Clemson Tigers

Clemson’s the perfect team to root for from a distance. On an auditory note, I think Clemson has one of the most pleasant sounding college names as well; the way the “m” leans into the “s” is quite nice in my ears. Additionally, I’m a big fan of geographically-ambiguous college names (Bonus points for Clemson because it’s both a public university and not geographically-bound) The Tigers have had a great run of skill position players for the last couple years, transitioning from James Davis/CJ Spiller to this current golden era of Tajh Boyd/Sammy Watkins. CJ Spiller’s 2009 season is about enough to merit Clemson’s spot alone.

If I’m flipping channels and I come across a Clemson game, I’m probably going to settle in. Even Clemson losses have an essence of the spectacular to them. Now, as fine a team as Clemson is for the casual fan, there’s a reason they call inexplicably disappointing performances “Clemsoning.” For the Clemson faithful, this must be heartbreaking. For me, it’s just a reminder that college football is a beast that clings tight to its traditions. How it might try, Clemson will always be Clemson and there’s something I love about that.

Least Favorite Team: Virginia Tech Hokies

Since Michael Vick left town, Virginia Tech probably holds claim as the Boring-Best team in the country. Almost every year, they seem to make noise at season’s end and find themselves in the January bowl contention. Here is a visual guide to how Virginia Tech plays out every season:

Wait until every other team commits some sort of Harikari, and hey, Virginia Tech is in the Sugar Bowl. Because Beamer Ball is a thing, Virginia Tech is damn near unwatchable for the casual fan who isn’t turned on by playing the field position game. One of the funniest things in CFB last year to me was how long Mel Kiper and Todd McShay were adamant about keeping Logan Thomas on top of their draft boards, for no reason other than not wanting to admit that they were wrong. “How the hell are you still here?”, the story of both Logan Thomas and Virginia Tech.

All-Time Skill Position Team (VIDEO EDITION)

QB: Doug Flutie (Boston College)

RB: CJ Spiller (Clemson; SEC SPEED)

WR: Calvin Johnson (Georgia Tech)

WR: Peter Warrick (Florida State)

TE: G-Reg Olsen (Miami, 7th Floor Crew)

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